It’s Valentine’s Day. Honestly, I’m not much of a V-Day person. More of a Happy Single Awareness Day person. Maybe it’s because I was never with someone during this so called day of love. I’ve never had a date for this day, but I was never sad about it. It was just another day of people sharing love (which btw, shouldn’t  just be one day out of the year, people should be doing it everyday). An upside was attending Pillow Fight. But because of other circumstances I feel like I can’t even go to that. This year’s different. I’ll admit, I’m a little sad. I did a total 360 from being the happiest I’ve been with someone to feeling pain that has left me sleepless. The painful thing about breakups is accepting the fact that the person just no longer wants to be with you. It’s plain and simple. I know with time I’ll be able to get past it. I’m surrounded by friends and family who love and support me and that’s all I can ever ask for. But for now, you suck Love. But I hope one day you’ll make me as happy as I was before.

Love,

kris

With the little sleep I had last night, I had a bad dream that woke me up crying.

My feelings are, if you love and care for someone enough, you’ll make the time for them. Unfortunately, for me, I wasn’t enough to do so.

1. Widgets- Believe it or not I like the fact I can add widgets on my phone. Whether they’re picture widgets, MLBAtBat or ESPN score widgets, or even the standard Google widget it makes it that much easier to customize my phone.

2. External Battery- Although the iPhone battery life is usually pretty good, it’d be nice to change only the battery if needed instead of replacing the whole phone.

3. Upgradable Memory- What happens if you’re iPhone is low on memory because you filled it up all the way? I have a 16gb Nano that I thought would be enough for my music. It’s currently full. Androids give you the option to change  your memory cards.

4. Free Navigation- I  know what you’re thinking. There’s an app for that. Well on Androids the turn by turn navigation comes built in and I don’t have to worry about trying to find what app works best.

5. Adobe Flash- There’s been talk that Android phones will no longer support Flash, but until then the browser experience on Android’s is more like on a computer than the iPhone is. Try getting tickets for Cirque Du Soleil on an iPhone and the seating chart won’t show. Also try playing a video that’s embedded on a website on an iPhone.

6. Google Software Names- Cupcake, Donut, Eclair, Froyo, Gingerbread, Honeycomb, and the newest…Ice Cream Sandwich. Okay, this isn’t really a reason, but it’s pretty fun hearing all the newest software names. Whoever is responsible for naming all the software versions after food desserts and pastries…thumbs up to you.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m still an Apple fan and majority of my electronics are Apple. In fact, I recently had to give up my work phone which was an iPhone. For the past 4 months I got to rock both an iPhone and Android. Call me selfish or crazy but I liked having both. I knew that if my Android died, my iPhone would still be working. But if I needed directions, my Android worked best. To be honest, I think I really liked the iPhone because of Instagram. Damn you Instagram! But now that I have a 4G Android for work (which I love using the internet for because it’s so fast), a part of me wants to get the iPhone for my personal phone. Decisions decisions!

I know plenty of people that have a hard time deciding between Androids and the iPhone. If you’re stuck and can’t decide, ask yourself what it is that you want to be able to do on your phone and what you’re going to use your phone for. Figure out what things are most important and then find out which phones could do what you want them to.

April 18th, 2005

izelle gave me a card for my birthday and this is what the card said…

you are my “help put things in perspective” friend… my “you understand because you’ve been there” friend… my “help-it’s one of those days” friend! there’s a lightness of heart that comes from just telling you about my day and listening to yours. whether we solve the problems of the world or not, just because i’ve got a friend like you to laugh with, everything feels like it’s going to be OK. so happy birthday to my “just don’t know what i’d ever do without you” very good friend. -catherine slater [hallmark...of course]

it wasn’t just what the card said that got me thinking, but alot of what izelle wrote. one line that said “i truly don’t know what my life would be like without you there for all the big things and all the little things.” that line alone got me thinking about the people in my life. my friends…my family…what would i do without them? through the good times and bad, they’ve been there for me. especially regina, trina, and izelle…they’ve heard it all. whether it be a girls night out, hanging at tre’s dying each others’ hair, driving to cupertino just for pizookies, going shopping, waking up to late night calls, listening to someone crying, gettin crunked and touchy feely at clubs, or jus chillin at the bux and conversing…i know i can count on you guys to run to when i’m feeling down, or run to for a good time. i’m also thankful for old friendships that have sorta drifted away, and are now gettin re-established. two people to be specific. i’m glad that we can still talk and that we’ve all been calling each other more. no matter what, you know you can call any of us if you need someone to talk to. one way or another and i’m thankful for friends like you. you’ve been there for me through my toughest times…and biggest events in my life as well as the small ones. we’ve created these memories together…and without each other, who knows what things would be like. memories with the LiKs…my EAE girls (haha)…and the guys…good times my friends. i love you all.

First of all…I can’t believe I actually said “crunked”. But aside from that, remember that it’s the little things in life that count. Live life and don’t take the little things for granted.

This isn’t an emo post so to put it plain and simple…
MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY ARE FUCKING AWESOME AND I LOVE THEM. 

That’s all. Bye now.

Bigger brands had booths that looked like mini restaurants with a hostess stand. Others looked like mini stores. Some with even two floors. I was in awe.

But the one memory I took from that day was being invited into the LRG booth. We walked past their front desk (where I assumed buyers checked in) and went straight inside. Besides all the racks of clothes around me I noticed a guy in front of me sitting on a round sofa, chillin on his Sidekick…in my head I was like “holy shit, that’s Jonas, one of the founders of LRG. And behind him…Ben Baller.” I kept my cool, sipped my Heineken, and carried on. But better believe I was excited inside. To be around the person who built this multimillion dollar brand. The guy that designed these dope tees that my ex-boyfriend used to buy and I’d want to cut up and make into girl shirts (before they had Luxirie). The one that inspired all these other brands and people.

So when I heard about his passing yesterday I was in shock. I may not have personally known him, but he is known within the fashion industry as well as the music industry. He changed the street and urban wear scene and inspired so many people. He was definitely a pioneer and paved the way for others.

RIP Jonas Bevacque

I started to think about the type of guys I go for. And while some of my friends think I have a specific type, I have other friends who feel like I don’t have a type at all. Then I have those friends that think I have a type and then I surprise them and go for a guy I don’t usually go for. *Suuurpriiiise!* Even though my “types” seem to vary, I came to a realization that the way I meet guys is all the same. At a club, at a bar or anywhere around alcohol. Obviously something needs to change there or I’m going to go through this cycle over and over. Thank Jamie Foxx for making me realize that. Rach also talks about it here.

But today I read a post called “An Open Letter to the Women Who Are Telling Me It’s My Fault I’m Not Married”. My first reaction was “Shit…IS IT my fault?” (not that I’m trying to be married, but in regards to being in a relationship). I once had a guy tell me that the reason why we didn’t work out was because I wasn’t nurturing enough (which btw, an exbf disagrees and says I was very nurturing, haha). My other friend made me realize I’m picky (which I know isn’t a bad thing). And another friend told me he can’t see me with kids because I’m too selfish and carefree. Really?! Well shit, if it’s my fault, it’s my fault. If I’m picky, I’m picky. I know there’s a fine line to that though. I don’t think I’m so picky I’ll pass something up that could potentially be good, but I don’t want to settle for less and be stuck in a relationship that doesn’t make me happy. Why settle for being content when you know there’s that possibility of happiness?

“Because staying in a bad relationship just because it is heading towards marriage is like putting a plastic bag over your head, and just letting in enough air that you can stay alive.” -Brienne Walsh

There are certain things in the article I don’t necessarily agree with but it’s definitely something to think about. The comments have some good point of views and it’s interesting what single women and single mothers are saying. The author also shares two other articles about single women. Read them. Straight up Sex and the City status.

But the one thing to get from this is don’t feel bad that you’re single. I know we feel like we have some type of time line, but don’t settle for less than what you’re worth.

Last week was the first week of school and while I usually have my “beginning of the semester” breakdown a couple weeks after school starts, I ended up having it the second day of the semester. It’s my usual shit about still being in school and wondering what the hell I’m doing with my life. And although I’m feeling better about it now, I still wanted to share my rant because I know that some people feel the same way I do.

It seems like I constantly put this song on repeat when I’m not content with my life. Okay, let me rephrase that. I am content and there really isn’t anything I can complain about. I’m fortunate enough to have my own apartment in the city (because of a family hookup). I have a part time job that gives benefits and pays for school, plus I get to play with cell phones and wireless products all day. I’ve experienced the street wear industry and got to see how things work behind the scenes, not to mention all the amazing and talented people I got to meet. And I’ve been lucky enough to go on trips with my friends to places like Hawaii and cruises to Mexico. I’m the type of person that feels free spirited and likes to have fun. I like to experience new things and like to get a taste of everything.

BUT I feel like I don’t have a passion for anything in particular. Don’t get me wrong, I love being interested in so many different things and I like learning a little bit of everything. But there are times where I feel like I need something stable in my life. I want to find that one thing that I LOVE to do and have a passion for.

I’ve been in college for almost 10 years now (give or take a few semesters off) and to be honest I STILL don’t know what the hell I’m doing. I mean, I have a few interests I think I can go for, but nothing screams out at me. And it seems like the closer I get to finishing school, the harder it is. I have to try to add classes and with the school system the way it is, I feel like it’s going to be impossible to graduate. Six classes. That’s all I need…six. Classes are so impacted that it’s hard enough trying to get into one. California’s budget cuts are so bad that one of my friends moved to Philly because she didn’t think she’d be able to finish school living here (miss you Meesh!). Even if I graduate WHEN I graduate I’m still not sure I’ll know what I want to do.

One thing I realized in the past week is that I get motivation from those that are in the same boat as me, those that are doing things they love, and those that specialize in certain things. But I’ll save that one for another post.

I know I’ll figure it out. I know I’ll graduate. But sometimes there’s still that feeling of needing something more.

Two days before my 24th birthday he was shot and killed less than a block away from where I live now.

He would’ve been 33 today.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JD!

WE LOVE AND MISS YOU!