A Little Rant About My Life

Posted in thoughts by krisyee on February 1, 2011

On my way to class tonight I walked by a sign on campus that said “Students Know Where They’re Going”. First of all…I’m almost 27 years old and I still don’t know where I’m going.

Last week was the first week of school and while I usually have my “beginning of the semester” breakdown a couple weeks after school starts, I ended up having it the second day of the semester. It’s my usual shit about still being in school and wondering what the hell I’m doing with my life. And although I’m feeling better about it now, I still wanted to share my rant because I know that some people feel the same way I do.

It seems like I constantly put this song on repeat when I’m not content with my life. Okay, let me rephrase that. I am content and there really isn’t anything I can complain about. I’m fortunate enough to have my own apartment in the city (because of a family hookup). I have a part time job that gives benefits and pays for school, plus I get to play with cell phones and wireless products all day. I’ve experienced the street wear industry and got to see how things work behind the scenes, not to mention all the amazing and talented people I got to meet. And I’ve been lucky enough to go on trips with my friends to places like Hawaii and cruises to Mexico. I’m the type of person that feels free spirited and likes to have fun. I like to experience new things and like to get a taste of everything.

BUT I feel like I don’t have a passion for anything in particular. Don’t get me wrong, I love being interested in so many different things and I like learning a little bit of everything. But there are times where I feel like I need something stable in my life. I want to find that one thing that I LOVE to do and have a passion for.

I’ve been in college for almost 10 years now (give or take a few semesters off) and to be honest I STILL don’t know what the hell I’m doing. I mean, I have a few interests I think I can go for, but nothing screams out at me. And it seems like the closer I get to finishing school, the harder it is. I have to try to add classes and with the school system the way it is, I feel like it’s going to be impossible to graduate. Six classes. That’s all I need…six. Classes are so impacted that it’s hard enough trying to get into one. California’s budget cuts are so bad that one of my friends moved to Philly because she didn’t think she’d be able to finish school living here (miss you Meesh!). Even if I graduate WHEN I graduate I’m still not sure I’ll know what I want to do.

One thing I realized in the past week is that I get motivation from those that are in the same boat as me, those that are doing things they love, and those that specialize in certain things. But I’ll save that one for another post.

I know I’ll figure it out. I know I’ll graduate. But sometimes there’s still that feeling of needing something more.


3 Responses

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  1. yoshi said, on February 2, 2011 at 4:11 am

    i hate to say it. but motivation will come from the people who you surround yourself with… its time for a change kris. FINISH school already. just DO IT. stop thinking about what you’re going to do after you get out because you’ll end up becoming a professional student. try to scrap all those thoughts and just put your head down and FINISH. worry about what will happen AFTER you get that diploma. you think i knew exactly what i was going to do after i graduated?! helllllll no. stop using school as an excuse, because really, that’s what you’re doing. its become your safety net to the question: “so what do you want to be when you grow up?” shit will come to fruition, but only after you get OUT of school. sorry for the long comment, but i believe in you. try to meet new people who can inspire you and stop living in the past… good luck and you know i’m around for anything. xx

  2. krisyee said, on February 2, 2011 at 9:11 am

    i totally agree. i know i will finish school and figure it out. there are just those times where i wish i already knew. and it definitely is time for a change and i find i’m the most inspired when i’m around certain people whom i unfortunately don’t get to see to often. you of course are one of them! but thanks for your input…i know you’re tired of hearing it from me. lol 🙂

  3. ihopizelli said, on February 7, 2011 at 10:31 pm

    i’m sorry, i have to add my piece to this one, too. believe it or not, jess and i totally had a convo about you about this same exact topic… and that’s why i can’t help but butt in here…

    i 100% agree with jess. you need to get the f*ck up outta here. you are totally beyond the bubble you live in right now. you are destined for greater things. focus on only ONE thing for now- just finish school. keep your nose in those books and stop spreading yourself too thin on too many projects. f*ck failing a class. ace that sh*t. don’t ever waste your hard earned dough on having to retake a class. just keep pushing yourself- cuz i know you can do it, kris. you just need to zero in on it… ize on the prize baby.

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