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It’s My Fault I’m Single

Posted in random, thoughts by krisyee on March 10, 2011

Okay, so where do I begin here? Lately I’ve been thinking about relationships and how I’ve managed to feel like the only single one out of my close group of friends. Meaning the ones I just went to Vegas with in my previous post. Out of all those girls, four are engaged, two are living with their boyfriends, leaving me and the bride’s little sister the single ones. I have other friends that are single too, but that doesn’t mean they don’t feel the same way too. Trust me, we’ve discussed this.

I started to think about the type of guys I go for. And while some of my friends think I have a specific type, I have other friends who feel like I don’t have a type at all. Then I have those friends that think I have a type and then I surprise them and go for a guy I don’t usually go for. *Suuurpriiiise!* Even though my “types” seem to vary, I came to a realization that the way I meet guys is all the same. At a club, at a bar or anywhere around alcohol. Obviously something needs to change there or I’m going to go through this cycle over and over. Thank Jamie Foxx for making me realize that. Rach also talks about it here.

 

But today I read a post called “An Open Letter to the Women Who Are Telling Me It’s My Fault I’m Not Married”. My first reaction was “Shit…IS IT my fault?” (not that I’m trying to be married, but in regards to being in a relationship). I once had a guy tell me that the reason why we didn’t work out was because I wasn’t nurturing enough (which btw, an exbf disagrees and says I was very nurturing, haha). My other friend made me realize I’m picky (which I know isn’t a bad thing). And another friend told me he can’t see me with kids because I’m too selfish and carefree. Really?! Well shit, if it’s my fault, it’s my fault. If I’m picky, I’m picky. I know there’s a fine line to that though. I don’t think I’m so picky I’ll pass something up that could potentially be good, but I don’t want to settle for less and be stuck in a relationship that doesn’t make me happy. Why settle for being content when you know there’s that possibility of happiness?

“Because staying in a bad relationship just because it is heading towards marriage is like putting a plastic bag over your head, and just letting in enough air that you can stay alive.” -Brienne Walsh

There are certain things in the article I don’t necessarily agree with but it’s definitely something to think about. The comments have some good point of views and it’s interesting what single women and single mothers are saying. The author also shares two other articles about single women. Read them. Straight up Sex and the City status.

But the one thing to get from this is don’t feel bad that you’re single. I know we feel like we have some type of time line, but don’t settle for less than what you’re worth.