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It’s My Fault I’m Single

Posted in random, thoughts by krisyee on March 10, 2011

Okay, so where do I begin here? Lately I’ve been thinking about relationships and how I’ve managed to feel like the only single one out of my close group of friends. Meaning the ones I just went to Vegas with in my previous post. Out of all those girls, four are engaged, two are living with their boyfriends, leaving me and the bride’s little sister the single ones. I have other friends that are single too, but that doesn’t mean they don’t feel the same way too. Trust me, we’ve discussed this.

I started to think about the type of guys I go for. And while some of my friends think I have a specific type, I have other friends who feel like I don’t have a type at all. Then I have those friends that think I have a type and then I surprise them and go for a guy I don’t usually go for. *Suuurpriiiise!* Even though my “types” seem to vary, I came to a realization that the way I meet guys is all the same. At a club, at a bar or anywhere around alcohol. Obviously something needs to change there or I’m going to go through this cycle over and over. Thank Jamie Foxx for making me realize that. Rach also talks about it here.

 

But today I read a post called “An Open Letter to the Women Who Are Telling Me It’s My Fault I’m Not Married”. My first reaction was “Shit…IS IT my fault?” (not that I’m trying to be married, but in regards to being in a relationship). I once had a guy tell me that the reason why we didn’t work out was because I wasn’t nurturing enough (which btw, an exbf disagrees and says I was very nurturing, haha). My other friend made me realize I’m picky (which I know isn’t a bad thing). And another friend told me he can’t see me with kids because I’m too selfish and carefree. Really?! Well shit, if it’s my fault, it’s my fault. If I’m picky, I’m picky. I know there’s a fine line to that though. I don’t think I’m so picky I’ll pass something up that could potentially be good, but I don’t want to settle for less and be stuck in a relationship that doesn’t make me happy. Why settle for being content when you know there’s that possibility of happiness?

“Because staying in a bad relationship just because it is heading towards marriage is like putting a plastic bag over your head, and just letting in enough air that you can stay alive.” -Brienne Walsh

There are certain things in the article I don’t necessarily agree with but it’s definitely something to think about. The comments have some good point of views and it’s interesting what single women and single mothers are saying. The author also shares two other articles about single women. Read them. Straight up Sex and the City status.

But the one thing to get from this is don’t feel bad that you’re single. I know we feel like we have some type of time line, but don’t settle for less than what you’re worth.

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5 Responses

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  1. Cuzo Linda said, on March 10, 2011 at 9:46 am

    I LOVE the fact that you are picky. There is nothing wrong with not settling! This saying is very overused and abused, however, “When the time is right he will find you.” I’m not worried about my beautiful, generous, loving, and even nurturing cousin. There is nothing wrong with being selfish, hell you need to be sometimes! Mackenzie and Mason have seen how unselfish you are and they love you for it! I know you are a FABULOUS catch. Even though, you might “think” you wanna be caught, deep down you just might not be ready! =) When the time comes, I will be at that BACHELORETTE party, for sure! =) XOXOXOXOXO

  2. meesh said, on March 10, 2011 at 11:25 am

    i agree to ^^^! settling is completely different from selling yourself short. and i think ‘it’ finds you when you least expect it.

  3. Jess said, on March 11, 2011 at 10:51 am

    I am glad that enjoyed the link as much as I did 🙂

    I agree, that there is some said that I don’t 100%-agree with, but there is definitely a lot that can start some real developed thought.

    The message is: empower yourselves picky women. Women who know you are worth so much more than the sickly fish that pollute our pond might have to offer. Though sometimes it seems kind of bleak to wade through the nonesense to find someone worth something. The lesson I take away from this, and from my many years of experience as a *picky* woman – when you have an idea of what is and isn’t a DEAL BREAKER, it’s time to spend some time thinking about what is a DEAL MAKER.

    Thanks for your post!

  4. Trina said, on March 11, 2011 at 11:27 am

    Even though I’m engaged now and I’m looking forward to being married, I was definitely focused on the idea of marriage for the wrong reasons. I wanted to be engaged/married because I thought I was at “the age” for that kind of stuff and because I had it in my head that I had to be married by now, but what I realized is that the world has changed and so should our plans for ourselves.

    Kris, you’re so hot to trot and you should work it; if you find the right guy (possibly outside of alcohol-heavy situations) excellent! If not, who is rushing you? We live longer nowadays anyhow.

  5. krisyee said, on March 11, 2011 at 11:40 am

    i’m not longing to be in a relationship. i’m just tired of not being in a good one whenever i’m in one. haha for some reason this past weekend in vegas and meiche’s baby shower made me realize some things. maybe it was because i was with my best girls that i’ve known my whole life? i don’t know, but it sure got me thinking!

    and linda…if i EVER have a bachelorette party…i can’t even finish that sentence because it would just be so crazy!


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