Random Rant: Are You Happy?
A simple question that should have a simple answer. But there are times we find ourselves in grey areas. A place where you’re happy but could always be happier. My friend and I were discussing dating and relationships (yes, those subjects often come up for women in their late 20’s) when I realized how simple it was.
“Are you happy? Because honestly, I don’t think you are.”
Those might not have been her exact words to me, but it was something along those lines. While her statement was right about certain aspects of my life, she was talking about my relationship. Remember when I said it should be a simple question with a simple answer? Well…it may be a simple question, but if I’m answering it I will probably have a complex answer. Things are always different from the outside looking in than the inside looking out.
Anyways, earlier in the conversation we had talked about her current dating situation. She decided to stop seeing a guy she had been dating for the past couple of months. “I know he liked me, but I don’t think he cared about me.” Getting older I think we start distinguishing the difference. In my eyes, if a guy really cared for you he would show it. Actions speak louder than words. You can say “sorry” a over and over but the word becomes meaningless if actions don’t change. We continued to talk about it and how she wants someone who truly cares about her. Someone to care about how her day went. The little things. I agreed. It’s almost like when a girl tells a guy she was sad/mad because he didn’t do something. Then the guy tells her “You should have told me.” And the girl replies “I shouldn’t have to tell you. You should want to do it.” I know the girl sounds like a nag, but I don’t think guys really understand what a girl means when she says something like that. For me, I do thoughtful and nice things for my boyfriend because I want to. I would like to think that what I’m doing for him makes him happy. To me, that’s all that matters. It makes me happy, to make him happy. Plus it shows what am awesome girlfriend I am. Sometimes I wonder if making me happy makes him happy. Because it doesn’t always feel that way. And that’s how she was feeling towards the guy she was dating. It’s a two way street, you should give as much as you take and vice versa.
My friend told me a quote that Channing Tatum said on one of his Instagram pictures of him and his wife. It said “When I knew that making Jennal happy made me happiest of all, it wasn’t just about me anymore.”
Excuse me while I go watch Magic Mike now.
Random Rant: Man Up.
After class tonight I headed over to the bar across the street from my apartment. A couple of my “old” coworkers were there so I wanted to stop by and say “hi”. While I was catching up with one of them I asked how him and his girlfriend were. First off let me tell you that this guy can be a total ass sometimes and in his words, he’s an asshole. But with that said, he was telling me that him and his girlfriend were moving back in together. They lived together before and unfortunately broke up after feeling too “comfortable”. He opened up to me and confessed that he realized he was wrong and they eventually got back together. After telling me they were moving in again he couldn’t help but talk so highly of her. He proclaimed his love for her and expressed how great she was. A year ago when they first broke up, he wouldn’t have expressed those kind of feelings for her. To my surprise he was finally manning up. He was saying how strong they were and how he knew that even if they got pregnant by accident they would find a way to make it work. He was that confident in their relationship.
It got me thinking about guys manning up to their feelings and expressing how they feel for someone. I know a lot of guys that are scared of relationships, scared of commitments and just afraid to open up to someone in general. Don’t get me wrong, I know a lot of girls scared of those things too. But you mainly see it in guys. If you love someone, care about them and have feelings for them, why wouldn’t you want to express your feelings for them? The risk of getting hurt is always going to be there. So if you care for them that much isn’t it worth the risk? In my opinion my old coworker put his ego aside. He admitted he was scared but realized she was worth the risk.
I know it’s always easier said than done, but whether you’re a girl or a guy, man up and tell the person you love how you feel.
Five Loves
I first noticed this video on my Facebook newsfeed and decided to watch it after I saw that three different people had posted it. My first reaction to it was that I didn’t know how to react. I realized that the three people that had posted it were all guys. Then I started wondering, is this a guy thing? Were these guys more into it because it was coming from a guys perspective? Maybe. But then again the girl mentions her five loves at the end of the video. Five loves? Two questions…is five loves a lot? And do you think the sixth is really the last? While I found the video sentimental, emotional and deep, I couldn’t help but feel like it was a little too much. Don’t get me wrong, I thought the video was good but it made me think. And for those of you that don’t know me, I have a tendency to sometimes over think. Those of you who know me, yea i said sometimes, live with it. Haha.
Seriously though. Do those five loves include the one that got away? The one that broke your heart? What about the one that could have been but never was? Hmm I guess that one applied to the “what” in the video.
But then we go back to so called love…it can easily bring up the question…what is love? How do you know it was love? What if it was just lust? Have you ever looked back on a relationship and asked to yourself, “what was I thinking”? For all you know your so called “love” was really lust. And sadly, you probably won’t realize it until you really fall in love. That itself can become a whole other discussion.
For those that watched this video, what are your thoughts? I personally don’t hate it, but I’m hesitant to say I really liked it.
Rant: Artsy Fartsy? More Like Brain Fart.
Have you ever felt pent-up energy or felt frustrated because you weren’t sure how to release whatever it was you were feeling? Take your head out of the gutter, this isn’t sexual reference. I’m referring to something a little bit different. Actually, something totally different.
Creativity. Lately I’ve been feeling like I have all this creativity to release but don’t know how to release it. Sometimes I feel like drawing, but I don’t know how to draw. Let alone know what to draw. I’ll literally sit down with a pencil and paper and have no clue what to draw. It’s like a brain fart. You were thinking of something, but then it just goes away. Then I’ll feel like painting but first of all I don’t have paint or paint brushes. And even if I had those things, it goes back to drawing…what would I even paint? I opened up Photoshop and Illustrator the other day and even though I was messing with it, I still had no clue what I was making. So of course, I didn’t save it. The only thing consistent that I have been doing is photography. But lets be honest. I’m no pro. Funny because I’ve had three people ask me if I can take photos for them. I don’t even know how to use all the functions on my d-SLR. Talk to me about certain things in photography and I won’t know a word you’re talking about. I know basics. F-stop, lens sizes, and how to load film on my film SLR. Other than that, I forgot everything I learned in photo class. That’s one thing I will say I want to pick up again. I actually liked developing my own film and prints. That’s a totally different project though (buying all the equipment and creating a dark room, which in turn would take over my bathroom).
I grew up in a pretty artsy and crafty family. My parents are both part of a craft group that they created with their friends. They would meet once a week and create crafts to sell in order to help raise money for our high school band. The women did the sewing and painting while the men did the woodwork. My mom continues to sew creating quilts and even sold handbags that she made. She’ll also make random things like little notepads with a fabric hardcover. Christmas is coming meaning she’ll probably be making ornaments to sell too. And my dad, lets just say he’s a handy man. What handy man isn’t crafty in some way? Besides my parents my sister is pretty artsy too. From what I remember when I was younger, she used to draw like she was sketching clothes on a model. Like she went to fashion school or something. How come I can’t draw like that? Anyways, her wedding decorations and other things for her wedding were almost all out of paper. Mainly all handmade by her and our friends and family. My brother on the other hand, he’s the true artist in the family. And when I say artist, he really is an artist. Inspired by comic books and Star Wars when he was younger, my brother always had a thing for drawing. He now works for Industrial Light Magic and teaches art at San Jose State. Talk about hard work and talent. Definitely an inspiration and someone I look up to.
I’m not saying I missed the artsy fartsy train in my family, I’m pretty decent and can be crafty myself, but I need to find a way to release this pent-up urge to make something. One thing that I do like doing is writing. Not writing like a writing an article, story, or even this blog post. But the physical act of writing. Calligraphy. Print. Fonts. I’ve had multiple customers ask me if I’ve ever taken a calligraphy class. When I tell them no, they seem surprised. Then I’ve had people ask me if I used to be a tagger. Nope sorry, never done that either. Although playing with spray paint at the Adapt office was pretty fun. But that’s besides the point.
If you have suggestions on how to release whatever burst of so called creativity I have, please feel free to tell me because I’m kind of going bananas. Until then I’m going to doodle and draw boxes and circles.
yeeBay 
leave a comment